Monday, October 24, 2011

My Hero

            It doesn’t seem that almost two and a half years have gone by since one of the hardest days of my life. I remember it like it happened yesterday, and I don’t think this memory will ever fade away. It had been a very long Wednesday. I had worked a six hour shift at Dairy Queen and then headed over to Powell. I was going to be a Junior Leader for Girl's Camp later that summer, so I went to meet all the younger girls. We were talking about sharpening pocket knives when my phone started ringing. I didn’t want to interrupt the speaker so I went away from the group. It was my mom calling. From the moment she said hello, I could tell that something was wrong. This was the beginning to this never-ending memory.
            The news from my mom was not what I wanted to hear. She gave me an update on how my Grandpa Wardell was doing. He had been in the hospital since the previous Monday, when he went in for his double knee replacement operation. Right after the surgery he awoke and my grandma told him that he had made it. He said “I did?” and then went back under. He had been under ever since then, and they didn’t know what happened. My mom told me that my grandpa’s brain was very dead! Some of the doctors said that they had never seen a brain that dead before! At this point all I could do was cry. I had to regroup myself before I joined the group again. The rest of that meeting was miserable! I couldn’t take my mind off of my grandpa.
            My mom and siblings were all in Cody watching my little brother’s baseball game. I left my car at the church in Powell and got a ride with one of the leaders from Cody. She dropped me off at the baseball fields and I went straight to my family. Right after the game was over we all got in the car and headed up to Billings. Right before we left my mom’s best friend gave us all a hug and told us that everything would work out. She had lost her husband a few years before at about this same time so she knew how we felt.
            The ride to Billings seemed like it lasted forever. We were all crying and talking about what was going on. As I looked out the windows at the stars it made me think of all the memories I had with my grandpa. Once we got into town, it took us even longer to get to the hospital because we hit every single red light!
            We finally got to the hospital where my dad met us out front. We all ran to him and gave him a big hug! He led us up to the waiting room where all my other family members were waiting, among them was my grandma. I tried to stop crying, but as soon as we embraced, the flood gates opened once again. She told me that I needed to be strong for her. I kind of laughed as I told her to take a look at me because I was a mess!
            Not long after we got there Richard and his family came out of my grandpa’s room. My dad, mom, siblings, and I went into the hallway close to my grandpa’s room. Before we could go in, we had to put these blue apron-like things on and also rubber gloves. My dad was the only one who knew why we had to put that attire on, so questions were being asked left and right.
            When we walked into his room, my heart totally shattered. My grandpa was lying in the bed with all these tubes in his body. I could not believe that someone as tough and stubborn as my grandpa could be in this situation. I held his cold, bony hand for a long time as we all talked to him. With tears rolling down his face, my dad told my grandpa that his grandkids were here to see him. After that remark, my grandpa’s blood pressure rose. It gave us a little hope that a miracle could still happen. I don’t know how to explain all the things that were going through my head. As my little brothers said their final goodbyes, it made me cry even harder! After talking to my grandpa a little longer, I decided to leave the room. I gave him a big hug and kiss and told him that I love him and was going to miss him so much! I also gave my mom and dad a big hug as I walked out. That was the very last time that I saw my grandpa.
            We went back out to the waiting room and visited with all of our relatives. My grandma and all of her kids had to decide when they wanted to let my grandpa “go”. I had to leave at 3:30ish a.m. because I was leaving for Laramie at five. My grandma, dad, and all of his siblings were standing in a circle talking. Before I left I went around the circle and gave them all big hugs. They all told me to keep my head and up and remember all the good things about my grandpa. The last person I hugged was my dad. He told me to go have fun in Laramie. Right as we were leaving they decided that it was time to let my grandpa go and take out all of the tubes and unhook all the machines.
            My grandpa passed away peacefully on Thursday, June 25, 2009. I will never forget that night because it meant a lot to me. It also brought my family closer together even though my oldest sister wasn’t able to be there with us. I know that I would not have been able to make it through this rough time if it wasn't for my family and all of the comfort I received from the Gospel. The section on physical death in "True to the Faith" brought me the comfort and reassurance that I needed. It says, "You have probably experienced the pain that comes at the death of a family member or friend. It is natural to feel sorrow at such times. In fact, mourning is one of the deepest expressions of love. The Lord said, "Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die." (D&C 42:45). The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life. Even as you mourn at the death of loved ones, you can receive comfort in the promise of resurrection and in the assurance that families can be together forever . . . As you live the gospel, you can remember the Lord's promise: "Those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them" (D&C 42:46)."  I truly believe that I will see my grandpa again and I am so thankful that my family is sealed together forever! I will never forget my grandpa because every time I look at my dad, I see my grandpa. 

Alisha, Grandpa Merlin, me, and Grandma Karen after winning the state championship basketball game in 2009


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Research Topic

When we were assigned to come up with a research topic dealing with media, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to focus on. As I thought of the world we live in today and how involved adolescents are in social networking and the internet, I immediately thought of cyberbullying. Social networking is a place where many people express their thoughts and feelings as well as staying in contact with friends from the past. It is also a place where people can say whatever they want, to whomever they want. When bullies use social networking to pick on someone, the results may not be immediate however if they have blackmail or anything they are able to spread it faster and to more people.

As I began my research, I had a broad idea of what I wanted to write my paper on, but I didn't know what specific aspect to focus on. I found an article that dealt with online predators and how they come in contact with teenagers on chat rooms. When I read this article I remembered a show that I had seen that was about police setting up fake accounts and trapping these offenders. The police pretended they were teenagers and would tell the predators when to come over. Instead of meeting the teenager at the house, the police would be inside waiting to catch them. This topic really interested me, but I wasn't sure where exactly I would go with that.

The other topic that I was able to come up was, How has cyberbullying affected suicide among teens? As I began research on this topic I was able to find more reliable sources and information, so I am leaning more towards this topic. I was also able to find several personal stories that really hit home with me and made me more excited to research this topic. As I have been on facebook and other social networks I have seen small acts of bullying. Although these instances haven't led to suicide, I know that it is possible and it has happened many times around the world. The internet can be a very good tool, but when used for the wrong reasons it can be very harmful.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Home Sweet Home

This past weekend I was able to go home for the first time since I moved down here! My last class on Thursday got out at 5:45 and the second I walked out of the building, a huge smile appeared on my face. I walked to my car and hit the road. My older sisters Amber and Alisha, met me at the Echo exit so I could pick Amber up. She was coming home to surprise my family. Because my mom thought I was driving alone, she kept calling me because I didn't know exactly where I was supposed to go. At one point we were on a totally different road than my mom thought we were on, so I totally had to make stuff up! Thank goodness she believed me and didn't suspect a thing! Well we ended up getting home at 2:30 and my mom was so excited to see me! Amber hid out in my room so my mom wouldn't see her. By the time we were trying to go to bed, I wasn't tired! It felt so good just to be in my house again and be with those I love. 
On Friday, we went down to the football field for little brother's homecoming football game. At the game I saw so many people that I hadn't seen in like two months and I couldn't stop smiling! It was so good to catch up with everyone and it made me feel like I was in high school again! My brothers team ended up beating our rival, and he had some really good tackles! After the game we took some pictures!
Torey, me, Trevor, Amber
The weekend was very memorable as we celebrated Torey's birthday Saturday night and after church on Sunday, Torey received the priesthood. Then we went home and got everything packed up. We checked my oil and said our goodbyes. I hated to leave, but I knew that I would be back in a month! We had been driving for an hour and a half when we came to Thermopolis, Wyoming. My car started making weird noises and I started freaking out. We needed to stop at O'Reilly's because I was supposed to buy another quart of oil. Even though it was closed, we still stopped to look at my engine. When we lifted the hood, we saw that I had forgotten to put the lid back on and the oil had exploded everywhere! After I called my dad, we went to the nearest car wash. Amber sat in the car while it cooled off and I ran to Blair's and Maverik to look for some oil. But of course, none of them had the synthesized oil I needed. After we washed the engine off, we decided to try Pamida that was down the road a little ways. Luckily they had the kind we needed! Three and a half bottles later, the dipstick showed that we were full and ready to hit the road again. And I was able to make it home safely! I miss my family and love them so much! I am so glad that families can be together forever!
Top: Nicole, Mom (Donna), Amber, Dad (Tyler)
Bottom: Alisha, Trevor, me, Torey

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

We are being raised in enemy territory!

General Conference was absolutely amazing! I felt the spirit so much and definitely heard messages that seemed to be directed right for me. My home teachers challenged me to write down some questions that I have been thinking about lately, and it helped me stay focused on the messages that were being shared. One of my favorite talks was given in the Saturday morning session.

As Elder Boyd K. Packer's face appeared on the screen, I couldn't help but smile and express to my roommates just how cute I thought he was! From the very beginning of his talk, I knew who he was addressing when he said, "I speak to the youth more personally than I usually do, comparing my youth to yours". After he started his talk this way, I began thinking of the world we live in today. As he told the rising generation that we are being raised in enemy territory, he developed pathos by relating it to something that is familiar to all of us. Along with this analogy, he mentioned the fact that we "need not fail or fear". This message of hope also increased his pathos as it gave the audience the hope and encouragement that we are able to survive these enemy territories. Another statement that helped develop motivation to the audience, was when he said, "all beings who have bodies, have power over those who do not" (referring to the adversary).

Being the President of the Quorum Twelve Apostles creates a lot of logos for Elder Packer. As he speaks as a mouthpiece for the Lord, we know and understand that the message he is delivering is something of great importance. Being 87, he also speaks from personal experience. As the world around us becomes more and more wicked, he talked about the Holy Ghost and how it can help us in our lives. He stressed the importance of always listening for the voice that is felt rather than heard. Elder Packer then said something that really stuck out to me: "you will not make a major mistake without first being prompted by the Holy Ghost". Knowing that this statement came from a servant of God, made that statement seem more important. No matter how busy our lives get, we need to remember to always be listening for the Holy Ghost to guide us. As youth, we have many important decisions ahead of us and it gives us comfort and confidence that as we continue through this life, we will always have the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

As Elder Boyd K. Packer's bore his testimony at the end of his talk, I felt the spirit and knew that the things which he spoke were true. He left us with words of encouragement and advice as he told us to take hold of ourselves and strive to be better as well as to always remember that we are never far from the side of the Savior. I know that whenever we need help our Savior is always there to help us if we are humble enough to ask. Let us have the faith and courage to stand up for what we believe in in our enemy territory and always be able to hear the promptings of the Holy Ghost and act accordingly.

A poem that Elder Packer included in his talk that I enjoyed:

ABOUT CROWS
by John Ciardi

The old crow is getting slow; 
the young crow is not.
Of what the young crow does not know,
the old crow knows a lot.

At knowing things, the old crow is still
the young crow?s master.
What does the old crow not know? 
How to go faster.

The young crow flies above, below, and rings
around the slow old crow.
What does the fast young crow not know?
WHERE TO GO.